Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mikail Markov's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, December 4th, 2008
9:20 pm	Once again, it's been a long time since I've updated this journal.  Things have quieted down so much that I've been "on tour" to some speaking engagements at various universities. No, I didn't go to the one populated by Dr. Wednesday. They didn't return the "call to speak" invite, not that I would have gone anyway. Topics on hand were techniques of plastic surgery (fleshcrafting being one of them), trends of transformation, and my personal favourite, a list I call "You might be a plastic surgery junkie if..." for example: If you look like Michael Jackson mid-carreer and you want to look like his post-mortem picture. If you switch doctors every time they say your next breast implant operation will make you immobile. If you write to the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary to get your photo next to the word "hyper". Of course, feel free to make up your own. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 15th, 2008
11:20 pm	Too much has happened since the last time I posted. It's been hell here when Corey came and became a WolfSkunk. Now... things are settling down. We are getting a rash of people who want that extra leg. No, not the usual male enhancement cases, but those wanting to look like a Researcher class WolfSkunk. Must be a fetish, but everything clears our checks and we direct them to some tailors we know for good clothing for their new bodies. At least RedWolf's choice of staying three breasted instead of forcing a "normal" pair isn't sparking many complaints or requests. Only a few "downgraded" to three from four, the extra pair being an add-on -- more are adding that extra center breast. RedWolf's relaxing now under Sandra's care after getting the Vatican to realize that Canmephians and hermaphrodites existed, and the world had left the church behind. Oh, and Italy was asking for back rent on the land. 2000+ years of it! Who knew the president of Italy wasn't very fond of the church? Mind-blowing experience. Anyway, I'm off to give a lecture at Texas A&M University about fleshcrafting. I may pop into some of their Physics lectures, see how the theory is on their end and get an update on the Large Hadron Collider. I heard they nearly had an accident when some folk tried shoving their naughty bits into it, but were pulled away and told to go to A&M and help fund the other collider. Strangely enough, that's going to be online soon... after they simulate it with "large hard-ons." Uugh. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 16th, 2008
11:47 pm	It's been a while, and apparently I'm getting domestic Russian spam. NYET!  DO NOT WANT! I've changed settings to detect proper humans, have captcha system.  Plus, am feeling in homely Canmephian Russian mood, yes?  Will go down with friends, have good vodka, tell stories, and piss off Bond wana-be's.  FOR OUR GLOURIOUS MOTHERLAND! hic Maybe already too drunk.  Must remember password, had to change it back. (Comment on this)
Friday, April 11th, 2008
9:47 pm	(( http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/apr/07/india )) Another intresting case to write about. A couple comes in and demands help with their baby. Medical help. And I do mean demand. Trouble already. We move the baby to the Infirmary, where the obvious problem is that she's a conjoined twin, so far up that it looks like one baby with two faces. AC comes in after scrubbing down and notices the twins, and I expect the worst thing to come out of hir mouth since RedWolf pulled off a similar, but not as extreme, seperation. "Hmmm... intresting. I wonder how integrated the conjoinment is on little Conjuka..." So as AC tries to start some scans, not only the supposed parents start to interfere but another group comes in and tries to rescue the kids. After some struggle I pull out all the stops and floor everyone with the gravimetrics. Damn, didn't want to do it but I couldn't focus. RedWolf comes in asking what's going on... and realizing the extra gravity gets Security on the double. Everyone's seperated into seperate brigs, AC continues on hir virtual probing and I brief RedWolf. RedWolf orders a DNA test for the baby and the people in conflict. While Security got the DNA, AC piped up, "You know, they're going to have problems." "The kids?" I asked. "Yeah. It's a definite conjoinment. They share everything neck-up, save for the voice boxes. Going two-headed, though, is much less riskier." Meanwhile, Sandra came in and asked if it was a bad time for me to look at hir, as shi was feeling quite stiff. I asked if shi shapeshifted recently. "No." I marched hir over to a private exam room and told her to get hir morphs on as Alex came in and delivered the DNA. I had Dr. Gristle handle it. An hour later, the results were in, and RedWolf escorted the proper parents to the Infirmary. They were happy to be reunited with the kids, and RedWolf translated our concerns. They asked what would be the result of the splitting, and AC pointed to... ...Sandra, who had shrunk down to 6' tall, full white tiger, but still dual-headed. The parents asked if they could become tigers too. I looked at RedWolf, who just shrugged and said "Why not?" AC, DC, and I performed the partial split before the conversion. Sidney and RedWolf did the parents' conversions, and since they sold everything to get their kids back, started a new life here. And the kids? Connie and Judy, or "ConJuka." I blame AC. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
11:59 pm	Apparently the constant digs at Fox News (snerk) have put some stress and strain... on my staff.  And Security.  And RedWolf. The routine is thus:  A Fox News anchor and/or staffer would come in to travel to Canmeph 2 for a story.  Unfortunately, when he (or she, it doesn't matter) goes through pre-customs, they're flunked for showing mental instability.  Security gets called and whoever's covering the Infirmary gets called, and we have to perform a 3.14 to see if the person would be a hazard on the flight. And yes, it's right on the conditions of travel, you can be detained on belief and demonstration.  Every public area is recorded in video and audio, so this belief is documented.  The cameras are triple-redundant and tested too damn frequently for my tastes. The routine continues in which we find the staffer suffering from heavy mental programming and delusions, and deem him (or her) unfit for travel anywhere but an approved mental care facility.  We've only approved one so far on Sol 3 -- France's Bastille Asylum.  Strangely enough, the French poodles there at the facility are TPK active and are quite adept in curing any mental malady ontop of any physical trauma. While I could go on about the French, I do want to continue about Fox... I can't say it anymore, because it isn't news.  O'Reilly got caught again, and so did Murdoch; they're in the Bastille getting treatment.  We're not built for the capacity, and I already got enough who are afraid of poodles... including one guy who called in a "France Surrenders" spoof.   No, they didn't surrender.  RedWolf went over and had a fine time over there with the French President, having wine and bree. It's just the paperwork, you see, that results out of this mess that RedWolf doesn't like.  Nothing I can do about it save bill Fox for the medical procedures. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 29th, 2008
11:24 am	I have been informed that today is the birthday of noted researcher doctorwednesday.  I will have to send over some of our overstock of nanites, unprogrammed of course.  (Comment on this)
Monday, December 31st, 2007
11:53 am	Here we go again... RedWolf's chalked the UFO sighting to "Currently Unproven, needs more data" status.  Things have settled down, and a steady churn of mods scheduled for the week went off without a hitch. Apparently this past year as I go through the operations, expansion (conversion to inflatable) was a hit, as was additions (going three wide, gaining a rack, extra limbs, etc) and becoming furry.  Partial furryness has been low but steady, as a trickle of folk wanting that Japanese Neko-human look come in.  Ears and tail.  Always ears and tail. sigh.  Another year, another set of drunk furs over the holidays. Apparently, someone on my staff was able to order another ten barrels of Occlan's serum and did not only a Chrismas party but also a New Year's Eve party.  It would account for the addition of funds under a fake name that I should of isolated earlier.  Add onto the fact the unauthorized use of the nanotech builder machine, and I'm temped to invest... Wait, REDWOLF?!?  Hold on.... ...okay, shi actually organized this one, charged a bit for those wanting it, and had put a team together to make sure it was supervised.  I just yelled at hir for not informing me, when shi pointed at the email I've been neglecting. Anyway, time to round-up the afflicted from staff reports. Someone was able to pump three of those ten barrels into a latex suit worn by a green-furred fox.  He's a good bloke, and is taking his oversized bod in style... as well as the nick-name "HULK."  I think his last name is Wideman. Speaking of huge, a Detective WolfSkunk went 'Taur on us when exposed.  Turns out it flipped the right set of genes and now he's twice as massive now.  That took another barrel. Many furs have gone hermaphrodite. Some female and herm furs (including some of the above) have added to their chest. One native cougar has also been spine- and limb-stretched out.  Shi's now 18' tall and over-endowed on both racks.  We're calling hir "Twiggy" for the time being. Several Drygers now sport WolfSkunk-long muzzles.  Two Drygers and two WolfSkunks have matched themselves and went double-long. And strangely enough, many volunteers went in and became Drygerskunks of various types.  They said they looked at RedWolf and wanted their own long, fluffy tail. RedWolf hirself went three-wide on hir chest, which seems to fit in the profile which I generated.  More on that later.  There's a few spare barrels left, though... I wonder... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 26th, 2007
4:35 pm	So it's day after Christmas here at Sol 3 Embassy.  Things have quieted down somewhat. Congress got real busy and started passing(and overriding vetos) on many laws.  About time they wized up.  Passed a budget w/o military spending.  Made use of signing statements by the President treason.  Re-upped everything... and started impeachment proceedings on the VP. Good.  He was a pain in the butt to treat. Also, the police started tazering Congressmen, so they passed a law banning them for six months and ordering investigations onto their use on humans.  It is now considered assault and battery.  We consider it attempted murder. Except for the kid.  Sidney says the official cause was an electrically induced heart attack, which is close to "HIS HEART NEARLY BLEW TO BITS, MIKEY!"  Alex says that they were licensed to perform at the Embassy, and the performers (save one, alas) were released.  The casualty has been released to his real parents after Pinn dug around and found them. The officers on the other hand have been charged with murder.  The hard part, though is since it's a Canmephian court, is getting the local government to send a competent lawyer. In other news, Nathan Lazarus has been doing quite well.  We asked the courts to let him go, so they did.  We wish him luck. Out-patient procedures returned, and the steady churn of holiday enhancements have come in.  Unfortunately, Cherry's concentration slipped and with Cynthia cuddled right next to her, the two grew to Cherry's regular height.  Poor Cynthia... although she actually kinda enjoys being 11' 6". She's also joined IceWolf's Gym and started putting on the muscle, which locks in the height. "Stretch" who I sent up to Canmeph 3 has died, over-extending hirself and the brain couldn't keep up with the multiple hearts shi was growing.   I don't know what to say.  At least the body's been donated as a senior project on Canmeph 3. Oh! Greenbelt Universial Hospital has opened up in the ruins of the old hospital. Some teachers on Canmeph 3 got permission to shore up the place, and get it ready with some green engineering furs. They've done a wonderful job. All the staff is there, and RedWolf put in the financial workings and ethics so it'll stay for a long time. Really took a load off of everyone. munch munch munch Anyway, RedWolf's at it again trying to prove there's a Santa clause with another bunch of agnostics. This time, they screwed and sealed the house unlike last time, and set it out under a glass dome. munch Too bad the caulk they used didn't set, and they stripped the screws. MMMmmmm sugar cookies. nom nom nom nom (Comment on this)
Monday, December 24th, 2007
11:18 pm	Alex and another security heavy came in and woke me up.  Apparently I've passed out for a few minutes, and Alex was working the scanner to make sure I was only passed out. Sidney's taking over for me, as Alex and cohort are escorting me into bed.  They may have to carry me if I don't make it. Aparently there's been no security breach that's detectable, but still...  I better grab my box and go. (Comment on this)
11:09 pm	Reports are coming in that DC has been painted.  DC has been painted.  No casualties are being reported, but some are reporting appearances of coal for all government workers. Security has been upgraded to yellow red as marked packages are being reported.  Only a few are taking chances, those who are not Canmephian.  That includes Cynthia... and RedWolf's now fully PO'ed that someone was able to get in the house and leave unaccounted presents. 496 and four other SputWolfSkunks are here now, as the Stooges are carefully massaging images out of the two pilot's heads with their permission.  Infact, they were rather insistent!  I'm ordering a shock security audit of the Infirmary and supplies.  Something got in there...     (Comment on this)
10:57 pm	Reports from Ops say he's popping in an out of random areas seemingly related to time zones.    Currently in Massachusetts... damn, what's with these complicated names?!?  Humans must be crazier than any sentient life form out there... (Comment on this)
10:52 pm	Whoever and whatever that thing is, it's hitting New York... New Jersey...  Th' Three Stooges are here, checking out the two pilots who we were able to retrieve safely.  They're completely shocked, including the Observer that was in the other fighter.  It's going to take them a while to crack that nut and find out what's out there. (Comment on this)
10:45 pm	Damnit!  Just restared Google Earth AGAIN.  Now buzzing Michigan... no, Ontario! (Comment on this)
10:40 pm	JUST HOW IN THE HELL IS HE MOVING SO QUICKLY?!?!  This defies logic as he's now in Ohio!   (Comment on this)
10:40 pm	The nursing staff has finally arrived, but only at half strength.  We're tracking things as best we can here but it's buggered back into Virginia.  We lost two fighters to disbelief and are quickly refreshing them with some old hands. (Comment on this)
10:37 pm	Reports are just comming in.  They've got a visual... ... oh boy... (Comment on this)
10:36 pm	OH CRAP He's in Virginia now!  Patrols are on the lookout for the bugger now.   (Comment on this)
10:31 pm	Damn Heisenberg!  This tracker says the bugger's in Kentucky and going in reverse! (Comment on this)
10:28 pm	I'm having trouble with this Google Earth thing, which keeps crashing every few hours.  I don't know what to make of it, and I'm not up to debug it.  Sidney, maybe.  This, no.  Google had better pay me to do it. Bogey's in Tennessee now, bugging Fort Knox.  Why the US military isn't shooting it down I have no idea.  Patrols over DC have been doubled up and RedWolf's not kind to believe in a fat man in a suit, on a sled, being pulled by nine reigndeer... whatever that's spelled.  I have no time to spellcheck. Sidney's being topped off with coffee as we speak.  So glad shi got that food recharge setup in hir. (Comment on this)
10:19 pm	UFO sighted by Laerties... We're at yellow alert now.  A UFO's been sighted over Georgia and seemingly criss-crossing it's way here.  All non-drunk pilots are being scrambled, and it's just me and Sidney here in the Infirmary. We're ready. (Comment on this)